Another Dose Of Deadpool (Feat. Deadpool)

Disclaimer:

This is an article that consists of content aimed at mature audiences, including:

• Moderate language
• Dark humour
• Moderate sexual references
• One mild drug reference

Reader discretion is advised.

It has been about six months since Wade Winston Wilson was given the Honest Trailers treatment by yours truly for the first time [71] [72] [87]. Featuring his perspective during this very difficult time for many of us feels very beneficial for keeping my mental health in check, no matter how cynical one inner voice is and no matter how immature the other inner voice is [59]. Part of my motivation for discussing a little more about him is that he was trying to help me relax with forms of autonomous sensory meridian response, also known as “ASMR” for short in a dream I had [79] [80]. Aside from that, we are fully aware of how skilled he can be as a mercenary during his massacres, even after he advises men and women to touch themselves to detect early signs of cancer [3] [4] [7]. Another part of my motivation may be how I was verbally bullied in the comment section of the public service announcement about how to avoid spreading the coronavirus outbreak even further performed by Joe Gaudet [23] [84], but the charming merc with a mouth is more than happy to cherish his ongoing charisma after haunting my dreams. Besides, he almost never shuts the f-word up.

“Exactly! In Slumberland, I was urging a certain lassie named “Laura” to relax – Bret Wellman style [80]. It was like a weird hypnosis session because of how high she seemed. You bet that’s not all that happened.” [2] [68]

“Oh. And about my reaction to Laura being offer to wear a new party dress in another dream of hers [82], not only did I get a nosebleed in my mask…but I was also a little jealous. You don’t wanna know the third result unless you’re a pervert.” [92]

Deadpool’s comics are still going strong to this day. We all know that his legacy began way back in 1991, yes [86]? Established in late 2019, the new era of comics starring the manly mutate began with the premise of him becoming a king after confronting the previous ruler of Staten Island [35] [36] [37] [38] [39], which reminds me of how Conker the Squirrel became a king in the endings of Conker’s Bad Fur Day and Conker: Live and Reloaded [31] [56]. It sure is gruesome how the first page was him being torn in hand, but he was sure to go to Staten Island for a client who wished death upon the previous king [16]. Later in the next issue after he rescued Elsa Bloodstone, he encounters Captain America [36]. It is quite weird how the milky white eyes of the merc’s mask are much bigger in association with the art style of his quest to kill a king [16], but I can say that he is at least still the merc we loved since 1991 [86]. As long as there is a new line of comic books from Marvel starring the masked rascal, there is a big sign of his legacy remaining as incapable of dying as he is [9] [18].

“You’ve noticed the much bigger eyes, didn’t you, sweetheart [16]? All the better to feel more like Spider-Man with. What? Some people mistake me for that geek [53]! I’m f**king serious!” [35]

“And I swear this cover was NOT the result of Laura b**ch slapping me [76]!” [38]

Another one of the crimson comedian’s latest comics from Marvel is Deadpool: The End #1 [40]. If that title does not scream “Black Eyed Peas from 2009”, then I do not know what does besides their album [20]. While the art style consists of slightly more realism with regular-sized eyes for the manly mutate’s mask, the plot seems to consist of different endings [48], which is similar to the non-linear ways of discovering different endings in Catherine: Full Body and Shadow the Hedgehog [58] [73]. One ending is about him becoming the king of the Underworld with Death as his queen [54], reminding us of his romance with her in his game that was developed by High Moon Studios [9]. So far, Deadpool: The End has only one issue [47], but perhaps that is to make it extra special for featuring different “endings” to a conflict in a refreshing way [48]. However, I must digress that the “Volume 1” in the full title would be a sign of more issues being on their way soon. Could a brand new Venompool saga be next [19] [45] [77]? I think a more necessary premise in the future of Deadpool’s comics would be showing his pansexuality and introduce his first male love interest [53] [85] [87].

“Maybe the lovely Laura can write her own ending of Deadpool: The End. It can be about her marrying me and living in Canada as a badass female merc who kills douchebags. Wait? She still has a boyfriend? My bad!” [40]

“This might sound slightly off-topic, but I think Venompool might really like Laura [19] [77]. She might taste delicious to him.” [45]

Even though Mr. Wilson’s theory about Venompool scared me, it is fascinating how his speech bubbles are always yellow in his comics [60]. In his debut, his speech bubbles were white with thick red outlines around them, which was perhaps to make him sound menacing and villainous while he was still only a supervillain [26] [60] [86]. It has been hinted at some point that some scars in his vocal cords are the reason for the discolouration of his speech bubbles [60]. Additionally and theoretically, the shade of yellow could represent how he is originally meant to sound rather gruff, quite like his voice in X-Men Legends 2: Rise of Apocalypse, Marvel Ultimate Alliance and Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 performed by John Kassir [24] [25] [74]. Despite this, he was eventually played by a certain Canadian actor who has a smooth, calming and stimulating voice in his live-action movies [17] [18]. Later on in Marvel history, we were introduced to Gwenpool and her speech bubbles that are pink to probably make her sound very peppy [16] [41]. Aside from how amazingly charismatic Deadpool is [75], the ability to speak in yellow speech bubbles in the comics expands on the comedic merc’s individuality, along with the voices in his head [9] [59].

“I think Laura could have coloured the speech bubble in yellow when she did this drawing of me spoofing that Belle Delphine chick [13], but oh well. At least Wolverine got some really good s**t.” [82]

“If Crystal Angel ought to be an official Marvel character [81], could her speech bubbles be sky blue to suit that coy British voice of hers [85]? I think she heard what I asked since she has ultrasonic hearing…” [60]

Have you imagined the menacing merc in a suit that is any other colour besides red, especially before the increase of his popularity in the 2010s [9] [17] [18]? As I mentioned before, he wore a stylish pink suit to support those raising money for LetsFCancer.com [66]. In Fortnite, there is a chance of a Fortnite fighter playing as him in a striking gold suit [14]. Quite recently, I am quite fascinated at how someone associated with DigiByte designed Deadpool in a blue suit [12]. This concept reminds me a lot of the blue version of Deadpool’s iconic suit from Deadpool Volume 4 #4 [49], quite similar to how the orange suit briefly reminds me of the Marvel Heroes incarnation of Deadpool the Kid [25] [51] [52], a version of Deadpool who would blend in the Wild West. A blue king’s robe like the one from Club Penguin would go well with a blue suit for King Deadpool [15] [16] [35]. Maybe if Marvel starts to run out of ideas, there can be multiple Lady Deadpools wearing different coloured suits and I could perhaps cosplay as one of them if I am still alive and physically active at the time that becomes an official idea [42]. Who the heck knows?

“The person from DigiByte who gave me a blue suit sure knew what they were doing. It still makes me question if the blood I bleed will be as blue as octopus blood when I wear it [91]. Could my angel-faced amiga dress up as Lady Deadpool in a blue suit next year or two [42]?” [12]

“No matter what colour my suit is, I want to you always remember this, Laura. Francis, the asshole who is responsible for the scars in my flesh is someone who shouldn’t answer the door for [17]. I know that’s a recycled joke [87], but you completely understand why, right?” [66]

Marvel’s Avengers, the latest video game about the risky and thrilling lives of the Avengers looks absolutely fantastic [29] [43]! As a sucker for female empowerment, I adore how Black Widow is honourably portrayed as a fierce fighter during her gameplay session [29]. Since Deadpool is sometimes associated with the Avengers these days [1] [26], could he be a playable character as part of downloadable content? Perhaps a voice actor named Scott Hill could make a joke regarding my suggestion in his Ryan Reynolds voice [27] [28]. Or could Joe Gaudet or Jon Bailey do the honours [22] [23] [76]? Could Matthew Yang King have a second chance of voicing the merc in the DLC since he voiced him in the beta testing of Marvel Heroes [25]? I could go on about who can do the voice of the masked rascal in anything new for him, but he will just question if I am on drugs or not again [86] [90]. Even though his witty nature might not clash with the most serious tone of the game’s premise well [29] [43], it would still be a pleasant surprise. Marvel’s Avengers will be available in shops this September [43], which will be something for Marvel fans to feel empowered with before the marketing of Deadpool 3.

“I love how Black Widow kicks ass in Marvel’s Avengers too, my sweet-voiced señorita [29]. And I bet plenty of our male readers do too…if they know what I mean.” [43]

“Since the brunette babe who wrote this article is one smart cookie and mostly gets her facts straight [87] [88] [90], I could treat her to a pole dancing show sometime [64]. Or better yet, I could give her a pet unicorn or make Hello Kitty Deadpool her new sidekick [46] [62]. Let’s just hope she won’t get travel sick on the way to freedom from 2020’s clutches.” [1]

Since we are still waiting to find out if Deadpool 3 will be rated R or PG-13 [90], I would like to get another dose of the amazing promotional material for his two previous box office blasts. I absolutely love the informerical for the manly mutate’s issue of Empire Magazine that was uploaded on YouTube to promote his first solo film near the end of 2015 as it consists of crude yet charming dialogue [21] [69]. Deadpool was firstly involved in Manchester United back in early 2016 before he dominated it to promote his well-deserved sequel in 2018 [5] [34]. I guess I now know not to dine on a kebab before taking a nap. I adore how he goes through his cinematic history like the iconic fourth wall break he is whilst remaining seated in a director’s chair in another trailer [2] [68]. And I do not think I need to explain what happens in the “Don’t Skimp On The Powder” video that is associated with advertising Deadpool 2 [67]. It really is amazing how the merc’s popularity has increased outside the comics in the 2010s [9] [17] [18] [70] [75], even when he was seen playing with action figures to “sum up” Cable’s role in his second film [6].

“Holy s**t! That weird Wayne Rooney dream I had one time! Now Laura knows exactly how I felt because she had that dream of me giving her a shoulder massage one time [87], but I digress. I know she enjoyed it…and you bet that wasn’t all I gave her.” [5]

“If only an article about me written by my little Laurapop can be featured in a magazine. After all, I am one of her coping mechanisms in such a crappy year [88]. Soon, she’ll be trying to summon me by saying my name about three times whilst facing a mirror in a dark bathroom [30]. Make sure the candles are scented when you try it, Laura!” [21] [69]

Apart from how I still like to look back at all of the fun promotions for Deadpool’s two live-action R-rated films [17] [18], I am still up for him having his own television series someday, despite the cancellation of his proposed animated series produced by Stephen and Donald Glover [44] [86]. The premise of each episode ought to be his own comedic talk show in a car featuring a member of the X-Force, any of his love interests or any other well-known Marvel character, such as Iron Man [43] [71] [86] [87]. On the other katana, a new television series ought to feature the same premise of him killing crooks and somehow trying to be a better person, just like in the comics for some comic book purists out there [26] [87]. Even though there was a failed attempt making the merc twice as big that resulted in a reminder of Kidpool in a trailer for his cinematic sequel [61] [86], I am sure that his third movie will be a big hit, thus leading to some motivation for making up for the cancellation of the scrapped animated television series [44]. Perhaps the first episode of a new television series can go into depth of how much Deadpool admires Creed and dislikes Nickelback [8] [53] [90].

“For the love of the balls of Thanos, Laura [27]! I do NOT love Creed [59]! A pair of furry handcuffs from Ann Summers await you soon, you naughty girl [11] [79]! Teasing the s**t out of me [88]!” [70]

“Ahem. Apart from my outburst, I strongly believe my dark-haired dame should write an article about her proposed concepts and send them to Marvel Studios. I don’t mind if a new TV series about me will be in live-action or fantastically animated. I’m pretty sure an old friend of hers who reviewed my first critical acclaim would agree [65].” [44]

We were still looking forward to more fourth wall breaks and so on in Deadpool 3 [86] [87] [90]. There is a theory that the comedic killer wrote his own movie as he was seen changing parts of the script for his own game [9], according to the popular video game theorist known as “MatPat” [63]. Furthermore, it is no wonder we can count on him whether his fans need a rainbow of wittiness to help them forget their personal struggles [84] [85]. While plenty of LPSTubers are looking forward to getting their fingertips on a new set of Littlest Pet Shop toys soon and plenty of young LEGO lovers who are into the Super Mario franchise are willing to play with Mariobob Plumberpants in any of his other four outfits in August [10] [32] [33] [89], I am hoping for more adventures with my boyfriend and perhaps some more wittiness with the menacing merc from Marvel. Perhaps there could be a musical number since Ryan Reynolds can sing beautifully [55]. Even though I might not sleep well tonight over the thought of Venompool taking a bite out of me, I thank Mr. Wilson dearly for strutting his speech again in the second half of such a dangerous and devastating year.

“Sleep tight nonetheless, my cuteness-flavoured Laurapop. And as always, you’re very welcome! Why did I haunt your dreams [86]? Well, they’re just so out there that I couldn’t help but join another one of them. Lay off the drugs that make you suggest voices for me and…try counting unicorns instead of sheep if you can’t fall asleep.” [78]

“Oops! That wasn’t part of my advice [17]. At least Laura won’t have to worry about Venompool or a bed bug biting her. Anyway, I’ll talk to you dudes and dudettes again  sometime soon, but don’t even think about calling me at 3am [57]. Cheerio, motherf**kers!” [63]

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