Deadpool & Wolverine Yet To Spice Up The Marvel Cinematic Universe (Feat. Deadpool)

Disclaimer: 

This is an analysis of a trailer that contains content aimed at mature audiences, including: 

• Intense violence, including blood and stabbings
• Sexual innuendo and references
• Strong profanity
• One moderate drug reference

This analysis is also aimed at mature audiences for its humour, including moderate profanity and moderate sexual references. Reader discretion is advised. 

The first trailer for Deadpool & Wolverine became the most viewed film trailer within twenty-fours of all time [122] [123]. Previously, I analysed the teaser with you and Deadpool shortly after tuning into a livestream hosted by Stolas from Helluva Boss in a closet [108] [163]. During the announcements of Pokémon Legends: Z – A, Pokémon Trading Card Game Pocket and such on this year’s Pokémon Day [139] [140] [141] [142], a version of the trailer was released for the visually impaired folks in the UK [91]. A few days later, a new fashion range from RSVLTS was revealed [15] [24] [119]. Speaking of men’s attire, there is a lot of potential for Deadpool & Wolverine to make up for the irritatingly unconvincing battle between Wolverine and “Deadpool” in X-Men Origins: Wolverine [148]. The main trailer was so worth its hype that it even has its own teaser that was released the very day before its release [89] [115]. As unpredictable and impulsive as he can be, I trust Mr. Wilson with the image captions, considering how charismatic he can be as the host of a Fortnite: Battle Royale tournament [50]. And here is the merc with the mouth once again after I enjoyed my third time at MegaCon in Birmingham [109] [160], had a swell Easter, and witnessed the launch of the seventh season of Disney Speedstorm [166]. Go ahead and wreck that fourth wall during this year’s Taurus season [52] [111], bub!

“You f***ing flatter me, Lauralicious! And Marvel Jesus bless another British lady for narrating the audio-described version of the first trailer [91]! Hello, reader! It is I, Wilson! Wade Wilson! I have returned from the galactic wonders under Rosalina’s dress [19]! Do you feel like you can try to achieve last year’s goals this year that you wasted in 2022 because you felt unprepared and depressed in 2021 due to the struggles in a global pandemic throughout 2020 [77]? That is exactly how I feel about Deadpool & Wolverine, formerly known as “Deadpool 3” [163]! You may recall the spicy content I made for clout during the delays of my forthcoming movie [70]. Looks like I’d better keep my hands off famous sportsmen like David Beckham for this upcoming chapter…and keep my hands on the writer of this article for an analysis that might make up for how underwhelmed some of you were [38], yet it was just a teaser and I am not allowed to reveal everything in one shot [39]. I deeply appreciate some awesome recreations of it though [73].” [25]

“My daddy couldn’t draw feet well at times and made eyes look soulless and creepy [75] [94], but I hope he’s well. I love him dearly and I would love to rest my head on those manly man boobs he drew for Captain America [94]. I also love the Wolvster, but it’s like a love-hate bromance if you know what I mean as I recall slapping the b**ch out of him in my own video game [53]. Speaking of bromances, what is with the Spider-Men looking like rappers from one of those ‘90s music videos in THEIR video game [105] [164] [165]?! The cause those gaudy looks are associated with is a good one though. Parker better watch out as I come for his pickle and steal some of those leftover chocolates for MJ after this analysis [28] [44] [46] [72]. Write away, my little Laurapop!” [135]

Wade Wilson was the champion of the Super-Hero-Bowl and Harley Quinn was the champion of the Super-Villain-Bowl before they kissed in the Super-Showdown-Bowl [4] [5] [6]. But in terms of canon outside of YouTube, how Mr. Pool will progress into part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is vital to him evolution from how he became more heroic in Deadpool 2 [23]. As the title states in ketchup red and mustard yellow, the main highlight of his new progression will be his feud and gradual bond with another comic book star who has a mind-boggling healing factor and will be mentioned a little later [88] [89]. Some could say that letting Deadpool into the Marvel Cinematic Universe could be like letting Sid from the Ice Age films into God of War [34], but there has been a lot of hype for the possibility ever since its confirmation. Will Mr. D To The P come out the victor after his captivity and recruitment, especially within an alliance we are all waiting for [88] [89]? Notable examples of Rob Liefeld’s artwork may not be considered the best in Marvel history but let us continue to wish him the best after his retirement from one of his creations as he strives in his well-deserved threequel [75] [76] [94]. 

“Again, I cannot get over how refreshing my MCU suit is! Just imagine how adorable Princess Peach would look in a red mushroom dress as part of DLC for her video game I cannot congratulate her enough on [35] [100] [171] [172]!! Next you know, Reynolds will attend next year’s Oscars with a Deadpool bow tie [31]! Aren’t I just the sexiest motherf***er to all my fanboys and fangirls [53] [97] [98]?!” [88] 

Of course, the biggest highlight of Deadpool & Wolverine is the return of Wolverine as he will also make a debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe [9] [88] [89] [163]. His MCU appearance in the flesh was teased on drinking cups alongside some bizarrely designed popcorn buckets at this year’s CinemaCon [59] [137]. The bar scene shown at the beginning of the main trailer vaguely reminds me of the reveal trailer for his own video game from Insomniac Games [58] [89]. Later on, Paradox claims that Logan had let down his entire world, which adds up to the possibility of the film being centred on heroism from more than one universe [135], as well as the rivalry between Deadpool & Wolverine that is sure to be a glow up from X-Men Origins: Wolverine as further proved by the samples of the dynamic fighting scenes and dialogue sequences in the trailer [89] [148]. Logan claims to be “no hero”, much like how Wade claimed to be “no hero” in his first box-office success [22] [89], but by now, we know that anti-heroes can win hearts too. As undoubtful as I am towards how Keanu Reeves can pull off the role of Shadow the Hedgehog in the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog 3 [57] [136], I am sure that the undoubtfully experienced Hugh Jackman will pull off his role as Wolverine once again in Deadpool & Wolverine in honour of the character’s 50^th anniversary [89] [104].

“HOLY SH**! Look how f***ing intense this shot is! Even though I would love to troll some right-wing douchebags with some so-called “wokeness” [163], I would be a little weirded out if I was portrayed by ‘Lil Wayne [90]. The idea of me facing an interpretation of Logan portrayed by 50 Cent in a rap battle sounds f***ing badass though. You’ve missed out on some Tumblr sexymen during your Tumblr phase [65] [112], Logan! Aside from that, I hope you’re enjoying your 50^th anniversary so far [104]! I’ll make some spare friendship bracelets after the other Laura’s analysis [78]! And look how cute we are as a little Funko Pop! dudes [45]!” [89]

“Oh! And don’t forget about Deadpool & Wolverine: WWIII #1, our adventure that will be available to get your nerdy little hands on this May [32] [79] [82] [85]! It’ll boost the hype for the battles between Logan and I in my threequel comic this July even further [89], won’t it? Like I said earlier, I fondly remember b**ch slapping him repeatedly in my video game [53]. Will I need to do it again in Deadpool & Wolverine [89]?” [85]

I have been wondering if Dogpool will appear in the main trailer or not [163]. The canine makes a brief appearance in the main Deadpool’s arms in front of an explosion [89]. As previously mentioned, there is some speculation that Lady Deadpool will be played by either Blake Lively or Taylor Swift [163]. It is also speculated that a few other versions of Deadpool who will appear in Deadpool & Wolverine include the child version of him known as “Kidpool” from the Prelude to Deadpool Corps comics, the zombie head version of him known as “Headpool” from the same series and a new infant version of him known as “Babypool” [87] [150]. Being a Marvel character, Wade would know a thing or two about alternate universes [163]. So do I as I cosplayed a female version of Mario from an alternate universe at this year’s MegaCon in Birmingham [109] [160]! But consistently, the aspects of alternative universes colliding ought to be used sparingly if the focus of the film ought to mostly be on Deadpool and Wolverine being frenemies [11] [89]. Aside from that, they ought to be established quite intrudingly as the purpose of Deadpool & Wolverine is to mark the merc with a mouth’s debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe aside from his reaction to the Free Guy trailer with Korg [114] [163].

“Awww! Dogpool likes me in this screenshot [89]! In another alternate universe besides his, Dobby is still alive and free to do whatever he f**k he wants down a somewhat better version of Diagon Alley [54]. What’s next? The comic book version of me who wears red gloves getting spanked by Dora the Destroyer [3] [80]?! I hope Mr. Wolf Man still has his friendship necklace [7] [26].” [89]

According to the masked rascal, he is about to lose everything he ever cared about at some point in Deadpool & Wolverine [89]. A notable example would be how he could lose Vanessa…again [22] [23]. I still stand by how Ness forming into a new look based on her comic book counterpart can be a big step up in her character [163], especially if she turns out to be a-okay after the prime conflict is solved. Even if her role in the threequel will not be as big as Morena Baccarin hopes for [135], there can always be an interquel centred on the character during the times after Wade let her go in the future of Marvel movies [163]. As lovely as the pizza parlour in New Club Penguin looked on Valentine’s Day this year [99], Wade and Vanessa’s love for one another is sure to keep flourishing, especially after the prime conflict of the film is solved and he can get back to partying outside of his duties as a mercenary [88] [89]. Who knows when the couple will start a family? And of course, there can be a little wholesome between Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio in honour of lesbian representation aside from Charlie and Vaggie in Hazbin Hotel [23] [88] [89] [110].

“Barbie may not have a vagina, but I know that Ness does [12] [22]. Ken may not have a penis, but my unicorn knows that I do. And yes, he’s just Ken [37] [74]. I may be a pansexual pervert in an open relationship with a stripper, but I know my limits with a lovely biromantic asexual [107]. I may not care how “offensive” I was to SJWs in the 2016 days [22], but I do not care how “woke” I am to the opposite end of the spectrum, especially after getting inspired to shoot bats [146] [147]. I could rely on Laura to write a poem for me and my Copycutie, but I am not entirely sure as I reflect on the poems she wrote about some shark boy in Hell [120] [121].” [89]

Previously, we got the idea of the prime conflict in Deadpool & Wolverine that serves a purpose in the teaser [88] [91] [163]. In the main trailer, we see Cassandra Nova appearing on a staircase to an entrance resembling what appears to be Ant-Man’s helmet and treating herself to a cuppa whilst claiming that boys are “so silly” [2] [89], which must be referring to Wade and Logan’s duel…or some sly remark made by Wade as we know what he is like, especially towards women in his own video game developed by High Moon Studios [53]. She is later seen taking control of Wolverine’s movements as a sign of her being a big involvement in the conflict [89]. As previously mentioned, Paradox claims that Logan let his world down, which could also be a sign of a certain successor eventually stepping in as he refers to him as “this Wolverine” [86] [89]. Aside from some more samples of witty self-awareness when it comes to being a superhero movie star, the manly mutate could either fulfil what Paradox has claimed he has been recruited for or go against it in his own anti-heroic way, especially if he vows to not lose all that he cares about so much [88] [89]. And who knows how effective Cassandra’s involvement will be?

“How sh**ty of these goons to capture me after my birthday at first [88] [163]! But at least you know what I don’t consider sh**ty? Avenging my little Laurapop’s younger self by slaughtering the British teen drama set in a high school that I warned Dopinder not to mention in her presence [155] [156]! After all, I’d love to join the Avengers after my MCU debut, but they may not approve of me burning down a school. Oh well! At least it was something a younger Laurapop had to endure “inspiration” from against her will [162]!“ [88]

“Who will I trigger the most in Deadpool & Wolverine? Yes, I know! “Triggered” jokes aren’t all that funny anymore [16] [36], but I pretty much became a box-office success around the time they sort of were [22]. But as we move on to my debut in the MCU, the fourth wall can always be the set of pins this motherf***ing bowling ball would knock down in a flash! No reference to that speedy guy in a tackier red suit from DC intended [13]. I am Marvel Jesus [163], even though I may not be found in debatable Christian videos on TikTok that Jaclyn Frank would be skeptcial about [40].“ [89]

Would you believe that Blind Al made a Frozen reference when asking for cocaine at the end of the trailer [41] [89], thus making me giggle? Buck, another friend of Wade’s besides Weasel (who may sadly not return in Deadpool & Wolverine due to some serious allegations against T.J. Miller [135]) is seen inserting his katanas into his back harness [89]. It is likely that there will not be much focus on Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and the other folks in Wade’s circle of friendship in Deadpool & Wolverine, but that can ensure plenty of focus on his rivalry with Wolverine, as well as their gradually developing bond [88] [89]. However, it is still speculated that Wade’s love for Vanessa will remain the emotional centre aside from Logan blossoming from his claim to be “no hero” [163]. Moreover, the gathering for a group photo at Wade’s birthday party will later hold some significance when it comes to motivating Logan [89]. The flow of a production may not always be as easy as baking a pie with a loved one [10], the thing I have hoped for the most is the prevention of another accident during the stunts and that seems to be case as there has been no report of another tragic accident causing another death [134], which is a big relief.

“Of course, Lauralicious. Daddy swears that he ensured much better safety regulations for all the awesome stunt folks. This Wade may be an asshole [18], but he is a certain kind of Ken who cares about his fans. He wished everyone who was born on the 29^th of February some extra happy birthdays [145], just like how the kitty on the backpack he often forgets wished a cute Leap Year doggy a happy birthday and another kitty who was a victim of mid-2010s cancel culture wished another doggy a happy birthday on the same day [22] [51] [63] [128] [129] [159]. And course, Ryan wished his fellow co-owner a happy birthday over a week ago [113].” [89]

“Remember, kids! Not all Russians are tyrants like Vladmir Putin [1]! Colossus is pure solid proof of that [22] [23]! Laura and I suspect that he will still spew some goody two-shoes bullsh** in my threequel, which she will strongly approve of. Which Deadpool blanket should I share with him [27]? And remember, kids! 6 + 9 = 69 [96]! And if 2024 has sucked for you so far [47], you can count on the Deadster, especially if you want some popcorn [60]!” [173]

Surely, Loki ought to show up alongside Miss Minutes as Deadpool & Wolverine will serve as not only a sequel to Deadpool 2 but also the second season of Loki [93] [135]. A conflict between Deadpool and Loki in Deadpool & Wolverine could be a vague reminder of the moment when a menacing doppelgänger of the manly mutate was summoned from Earth-617 in the second volume of Deadpool: Samurai [168]. It is confirmed that Laura Kinney, also known as “X-23” will return in the film at some point as part of Logan’s character development, but the role will be played by Natalia Tena instead of Dafne Keen who played it in Logan [135]. Aside from Paradox who sees some potential in Wade during his captivity and recruitment [88], there is some speculation that a TVA (Time Variance Authority) agent will turn out to be Victor Von Doom, also known as “Dr. Doom” [66]. Let us not forget about Chris Evans possibly reprising his role as The Torch [152], along with Owen Wilson reprising his role as Mobius [135]. Aside from how I thank Deadpool dearly for being someone I can turn to during hard times, it would be enlightening to see a few familiar faces in his next cinematic phase [151].

“Ah, good ol’ Loki who…may or not make a sudden appearance during the climax [93] [163]. Some guy’s wife still loves him [143]. I bet someone’s wife loves me, but I’m already engaged to Nessie. I’m planning to book a hotel room for the two of us [43]. As for Miss Minutes, I bet she’ll be as adorable as always [126], just like my little Laurapop who I am glad to be a coping mechanism for! I could take her out for a chizza or something [67] [68] [69]! Damn, what a bizarre but mouth-watering concept for a recipe that I can serve at a theatrical release party!” (Williams, 2024)

Some of our fellow fans of the masked rascal may recall watching Deadpool 2 in IMAX [62]. Since Deadpool & Wolverine will be released for IMAX screens, I feel like there will be a missed opportunity to let it have an exclusive feature, such as a bonus post-credits screen, which worked for the IMAX release of Barbie: The Movie back in September 2023 [161]. Coincidentally enough, reflecting on how Margot Robbie was also one of the producers of the feminist comedy film based on Barbie’s legacy aside from how she nailed the role of the plastic starlet from Mattel [12], Ryan Reynolds is not only reprising his role as the merc with a mouth but also a writer and a producer of his next live-action chapter [33]. Better not confuse Free Guy for The Fall Guy when it comes to admiring an actor whose first name is “Ryan” [114] [149]! Interestingly enough, Deadpool & Wolverine might well be the first Marvel Cinematic Universe film to be available on the IMAX app on Apple Vision Pro [61]. I am quite curious about the alternative to IMAX known as “Omniplex MAXX” at my local Omniplex Cinemas [102], so chances are that Deadpool & Wolverine or any other forthcoming MCU film will eventually be released for that format [61].

“I remember Laura telling me that a certain moment in Oppenheimer scared the living sh** out of her [103]! Shouldn’t have seen it in IMAX, my sugar nugget! But still, screw you for scaring her, Barbie’s meme partner [162]! On a lighter note, I guess the IMAX release of Deadpool & Wolverine could treat consumers to a cool bonus feature in an alternate universe where Laura’s fiancé goes to work and takes her to places on a moped instead of a car. We’ll have to wait and see if the fans’ socks will be rocked in any universe the movie will be released in. And who knows when there will be another Super Duper Cut [133]? Damn, I’m about to have a nosebleed under my mask, but no bad guys will see that [22], especially in an Omniplex MAXX screening [102]!” [84]

The main trailer for Deadpool & Wolverine has boosted the hype even further to an unbridled level [89]. Chances are that the film could become the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time,, making the merc’s award for “Highest-Grossing R-rated Movie” gold again [170]. He will have to share it with Wolverine though. The film is sure to spice up the MCU a month after Tokyo Disney Resort cools things down with a brand new real-life recreation of Elsa’s ice palace from Frozen [41] [131]. Many of us are also quite curious about a new interpretation of Harley Quinn portrayed by Lady Gaga in Joker: Folie à Deux, the sequel to Joker that will retell the tainted love story of two villainous circus freaks this October [21] [154] [164] [165], yet I still prefer the former psychiatrist being with Poison Ivy for a reason [20]. But before this, the zaniness of The Amazing Digital Circus shall continue with a new episode this May [48] [49]. A special thanks to Deadpool for wrecking the fourth wall once again. I could go trick or treating with him this Halloween, but I hope that he will not let a child hold a knife or a bomb for him [116] [117] [118] [163]. Nevertheless, I shall not forget to wish him a Happy Canada Day three weeks before the big moment we are still waiting for before the return of the Fantastic Four next year [8] [89] [166], and I thank him once again for his cooperation. 

“My little Laurie-Poo is welcome once again! Just imagine if she was a neurotypical chick and she’d be hardly into me! That would be a travesty! Barbie Quinn made Summer 2023 all pretty in pink [12] [127] [130] [143] [144] [163], but Harley Gaga, Shadow the Hedgehog, Venom and I will paint the second half of 2024 red and black [30] [106] [154] [161] [169]! Laura begged Doc Brown to not take her back to the year 2016 [161], but I still consider it a great one for me because of the roaring success of my first movie and so on [22]. Remember the clown invasion at the time [64]? I recall shooting the one who asked, “Why so serious?”. LOL! I’m just kidding if you’re more into DC than Marvel, reader! Besides, I would love to give Batman some taco-flavoured kisses [13] [42] [124] [125]. No, I was NOT jealous of him getting kissed by Harley Quinn on the cover of a Valentine’s Day special at all [29]!” [89]

“Despite the MCU being distributed by Disney and how “meh” Madame Web was [163], we shall hold no bias against the Sony side of Marvel movies. Besides, the original Spider-Man movie trilogy starring Bully Maguire (who slayed my ass one time) is a trio of national treasures and it’s pretty odd that the MCU keeps dying [71] [92], then getting revived a movie later, according to the majority of loyal fans’ opinions [132]. It’s kind of like it has a healing factor like mine! You better be good for SantaPool or there’ll be no mistletoe and ASMR treatments for you, reader [17] [95] [153] [157] [158]! Looks like I have some more scumbags on my Naughty list. I hope one of them likes being trolled in Grand Theft Auto V [14]. Until then, my threequel awaits, b**ches [163]! The same goes for Venom’s and I don’t blame him for not wanting to be overshadowed by political toxicity [30]. Stay tuned for more bad jokes from this bad motherf***er whose third movie could save a cinematic universe and possibly role-play it afterwards [55] [56] [81]! Ciao!” [89]

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Barbie: The Movie – Overachieving Outstandingly As A Feminist Phenomenon

2024 marks the 65th anniversary of Sleeping Beauty [150], but let us hope that Merryweather, one of the good fairies will not make all the pink things in Barbie Land blue, especially during its corruption into Kendom [62] [120]. Pinky from the MySims series would love that though [65] [102]! It is quite impactful to reflect on how I have gone from playing Detective Barbie In the Mystery of the Carnival Caper at my grandparents’ house to reflecting on the overwhelming success of the live-action film about Mattel’s plastic icon having an existential crisis [91] [143]. The film would have been entirely different if it had been distributed by Universal Pictures or Sony and released at some point in the 2010s…or if it came out in 2007 [50] [84] [151]. Choosing between Barbie and Oppenheimer in Summer 2023 was quite like an image of two lines of toys in McDonald’s Happy Meals; one aimed at boys and the other aimed at girls I would see as a child back in the day [67] [86] [92] [118] [154]. Nevertheless, gender roles suck and you can be a fan of any franchise you adore, regardless of your gender. Sometime after dinner with Stolas from Helluva Boss [111], it is time to turn up the Barbiecore once again in the Pisces season as we continue to reflect on the success of the live-action Barbie film directed by Greta Gerwig, one of our women of the year [42] [56] [73] [75] [87]. 

Look at these two meme buddies standing wholesomely together on the official McDonald’s Ecuadorean Twitter account back in Summer 2023 [96] [100]. And yes, Barbie: The Movie is not Greta Gerwig’s only film about a young woman’s crisis and the obsession with it has not stopped, especially during the run of the Barbie Career of the Year Women in Film series [13] [14] [15] [117]. While our young consumers are surprised by a new range of Polly Pocket compact toys [90], I hope all the Barbies who like their pink drinks hot and all the Barbies who like their pink drinks iced have had another best day ever in Barbie Land [18] [122]. Better not let one out of her box though [126]. [100]

More of the film and its creative team’s achievements continue to be listed one by one on social media [25] [29] [32] [39] [43] [149], including: 

• Six People’s Choice Awards, including “Movie of the Year” [19]
• The BizBash award for “Best TV or Film Premiere Event” [30] [146]
• Eight Academy Award Nominations [38]
• The SDSA award for Best Achievement in Decor/ Design in a Fantasy or Science Fiction film [44]
• Four Screen Actors Guild Award Nominations [41]
• The Thirteenth AACTA Award for “Best Film” [4]
• The AACTA Audience Choice Award for “Favourite Film” [3]

Oppenheimer, the film’s R-rated meme partner based on the story of J. Robert Oppenheimer’s involvement in the creation of the atomic bomb during World War II and its creative team have been successful at this year’s BAFTA Awards as seven awards were won [9] [46] [96] [106] [107]. In all honesty, I hardly care how “rigged” award ceremonies are as people are simply entitled to their opinions and you can always declare your own winners [133] [134]. Please do not take me back to the year 2016, Doc Brown [7] [114]! However, since perspectives change from time to time and exposures eventually get revealed, some successes could turn out to bedeceitful [80] [85] [121] [127]. But as for Barbie: The Movie and a few other amazing films that excelled in 2023, I believe that the awards they achieved were quite deserved to some extent [2], even though some aspects of their developments were not all that peachy [55]. 

Yes, even the awards Waterloo Road achieved throughout the years seem deserved to some extent [142], despite how I was experiencing some “inspiration” from the series against my will when I was about fifteen years old [140]. A British version of Mean Girls would be quite amusing though [57]. Even more achievements earned by the creative crew of Barbie: The Movie include the Golden Globe Award for “Best Original Song” [24], an Academy Award nomination for “Best Original Song” and the Society Of Composers & Lyricists Award for “Outstanding Original Song” [26] [45], which is no wonder why some of us suspect that it could be adapted into a stage musical possibly before a direct chronological follow-up in a few years’ time [143] [145]. Do not forget to show admiration for animated films that are worthy of winning awards too [2] [8]! [27]

The plot of the film was parodied in an advert for the 96th Annual Oscars that will air an hour earlier on ABC on the 10th of March [81]. It stars Jimmy Kimmel who gets lost on the way to Oscarsland, a direct parody of Barbie Land focused on the nominees for a range of achievement titles, including Poor Things. Weird Barbie becomes his guide after asking what kind of “Ken” he is in a rather infatuated manner. As the duo arrive at Carnegie Hall in the weird wagon after a colourful montage of bizarre landscapes that reference other successful films in 2023 besides Barbie: The Movie, most notably Oppenheimer [106], America Ferrera gives a parody of Gloria’s speech on how difficult it can be being a woman in society centred on being a host for the Oscars [18] [81]. With Kenough Kenergy, Ryan Gosling pops up from the back seats of the weird wagon as a callback to Ken surprising Barbie on the way to the real world. Aside from Barbie: The Movie getting nominated for eight awards at the upcoming 96th Annual Oscars [1], the advert is still a brilliant spoof that highlighted Weird Barbie’s comedic nature and so on with some creative elements [81]. 

Kimmel sure had a wild ride with Weird Barbie [81]. Some of you may recall other forms of creativity associated with these award ceremonies, such Woody, Jessie, and Buzz Lightyear from the Toy Story franchise presenting the award for “Best Animated Short” at the 72nd Annual Oscars in 2000 and the main cast of South Park making special guest appearances at the 19th and Last-Ever Annual Cable Ace Awards to present the award for “Best Talk Show Series” in 1997 [53] [108] [123] [152]. Barbie: The Movie can always be nominated for rose gold Oscars resembling a woman known as “Octavias”, “Oksanas” or “Odessas” in Barbie Land [110] [131]. [81]

2024 also marks the 60th anniversary of the debut of Allan, Ken’s buddy [10]. You do not suspect that a marmot is calling out this name [46], no? Some of my fellow 2000s kids may recall him as Midge’s husband and Ryan’s father in the Happy Family line [145]. Again, if Barbie: The Movie is “anti-male propaganda”, then how come Allan Pilgrim got sick of the patriarchal takeover and helped Barbie, Gloria and Sasha restore the essences of girl power in Barbie Land [34] [137]? I still believe he can be an empathetic ally of “Beach” Ken who can find his own identity in a spin-off series or sequel though [151]. In the meantime, his classic doll form from 1964 is available to pre-order [10]. I am glad that the film gave Allan a lot more attention [18], especially before the 60th anniversary of his debut in the Barbie franchise [10]. Call me crazy, but in a sequel or a threequel, perhaps he can be employed as a police officer alongside a new Barbie referred to as “Officer Barbie” in Barbie Land tracking down a criminal in Barbie Land but let us save our hopes for a faithfully fresh follow-up film for next year or two [49] [151]. 

In the meantime, Allan can remain a great reality dating show host and a therapist for the Kens [11]. And let us not forget to wish the Strawberry Shortcake franchise a happy 45th anniversary and Cadbury a happy 200th anniversary too [54] [125]! [10]

Can you imagine Barbie Land expanding with some pink castles like Craigievar Castle, one of the magnificent historical castles in Scotland [61] [103]? I think there ought to be more pink essences in Barbie Land [5] [36], such as a new car in a coat of hot pink, the colour of the hype for the film in production that also became a Summer fashion trend in 2022 [70] [73] [130] [138]. Oh! And do not forget some lovely shades and tints of purple, including lilac and lavender. Aside from a few princes, princesses and mermaids in Barbie Land [21] [23] [35] [51], there could also be an enchanted forest where Fairy Barbies reside and cast magic spells [48] [82] [101]. But wait! What if one of the Fairy Barbies…could turn anything pink into blue [62] [120]?! There can still be some elements of Kendom as Stephen Colbert has been knighted by Ryan Gosling for having plenty of Kenergy [128]. As grateful as I was for no longer feeling imprisoned in some Waterloo Road wannabe [140], I would be delighted to see more of Barbie Land if the movie evolves into its own franchise that should hopefully not seem “milked to death” and “a cash cow”, but simply create new opportunities for characters and new elements of creativity [151]. Again, let us save our wishes for a great sequel for its official announcement.

Barbie Land could also be expanded with not only stables for the horses during the Kendom takeover and new unicorns for Horse Rider Barbies to ride but various things coated in rose gold…or pink gold if you like to race as Pink Gold Peach in Mario Kart 8 and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe [22] [104] [105]. After all, the movie received five BAFTA nominations, including “Best Production Design” [28], despite another snub [132]. In the meantime, those who strolled through Ken Street in Toronto nearly a year ago can reflect on that [139]. And if a Barbie prefers light blue or teal over pink [20], she can rock some stylish pumps styled after Hatsune Miku from Mayla because of Barbie doll logic [18] [93] [94] [95]. Could a Princess Barbie be named “Amelia” [16] [17]? [139]

Despite my bitterness towards Waterloo Road [140], I can cut the third, fourth and fifth series some slack for portraying an autistic student pretty well [141]. I would be delighted to see an autistic human who recalls being infatuated with Barbie dolls in a sequel or threequel to Barbie: The Movie, as long as the big mistakes that were made in Music will not be made again [79]. Yet again, we will just have to wait and see in a few years’ time [151]. [141]

Barbie: The Movie deserves its success for its creativity and depth [27] [28] [31] [33] [37] [40] [76]. But still, a sequel centred on Ken will come in handy for sorting out the problem its political satire unintentionally caused [135]. Moreover, there can be more effective and rational ways to discuss sexism than some examples I have witnessed [52]. And yes, there could perhaps be a threequel to Barbie: The Movie after a sequel centred on Ken excels in fixing what was considered “misandristic propaganda” and helping him find his own identity [25], much like how there could be a threequel to The Super Mario Bros. Movie after its well-deserved sequel does well with an honourable portrayal of Yoshi and so on [147] [148] [150]. Speaking of threequels, there is a lot of hype for Deadpool & Wolverine that can be accelerated by the release of Deadpool & Wolverine: WWIII in May [63] [88] [89] [144]. In the meantime, be sure to check out some new Harley Quinn Funko! Pop figures that are currently available to pre-order [71] [113], along with a twin pack with Poison Ivy that was released before Valentine’s Day in honour of what can be considered my favourite ship in DC history and feel free to state your thoughts on the animated film titled “Barbie And Stacie To The Rescue” coming to Netflix a week before my birthday this March [12] [72]. Good luck back in reality [35], even if it makes me want to shriek and yank your hair out sometimes.

It would be funny if Stella and her brother Andrealphus from Helluva Boss argued over which colour a dress for Octavia on her eighteenth birthday should be; pink or blue [99] [112] [120]. Moxxine sure loves hot pink but considers a softer tint of pink “basic” [98]. At least a lighter shade always makes the sakura falls in Japan so heavenly in the Spring [109]. Near this year’s Spring, there will be a Barbiemania at Electric Ballroom in London next Saturday and a “Mother Sunday” screening of Barbie: The Movie alongside a Pink Party Bar at Bristol Aquarium just before the 96th Annual Oscars ceremony airs [64] [66] [81]. As for me, I shall look forward to the rest of the second season of Helluva Boss throughout the rest of 2024 after this year’s steamy Valentine’s Day-themed merchandise sales [97] [124] [144]. [64]

It is undeniable how revolutionary Barbie has been for sixty-five years [145]. As for her live-action cinematic hit and other movies that were released in 2023, let us be good sports about snubs at award ceremonies and not blatantly throw the term “rigged” around like sore losers [133] [134]. Besides, I may be an iPhone user, but I hold no bias against Samsung phones [69] [78] [136]. Until then, some ASMR from the friendly fuzzy pink monster named “Cosmo” might be up your alley if you are currently feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders [58] [59] [60]. Moreover, keep the Barbie and Ken ASMR vibes coming, ASMR artists [6] [60] [74] [83]! Lastly, beyond the prettiness of Barbie Land, there will be crystal creations in a new stuff pack for The Sims 4 the day after next week [129]. Imagine if Fauna made Aurora’s dress about as green as an inspired plumbob [62] [65] [120] [129]! Oh! And I highly recommend you leave Twitter/X while you still can or just take a break from it [115] [116] [119] [153]. Bye, reader! [28]

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Breaking The Fourth Wall Of The Deadpool & Wolverine Teaser (Feat. Deadpool)

Disclaimer: 

This is an analysis of a teaser trailer that contains content aimed at mature audiences, including: 

• Strong profanity
• Intense violence, including blood
• Sexual references

This analysis is also aimed at mature audiences for its humour, including moderate sexual references and moderate profanity. Reader discretion is advised. 

Avengers and X-Men, the moment we have all been waiting for finally came before Valentine’s Day [34] [58] [94]! I was hoping to finally see the official trailer for Deadpool & Wolverine that premiered at this year’s Super Bowl [21] [34], especially after some recent aggravations. It turns out that “Deadpool 3” has been reduced to a working title for Deadpool’s third very own film as including Wolverine’s name would make it more marketable [57] [58]! It was not long until it beat the record for “The Most-Viewed Film Trailer In Twenty-Four Hours” that the trailer for Spider-Man: No Way Home held in 2021 [96]. There has been hope that the film will not recycle too many plot points or add too many characters, especially comic reliefs like the third and fourth Ice Age sequels did [9], but we will just have to wait and see. Featuring Wade Winston Wilson on my blog was a great coping mechanism for me throughout 2020, 2021, 2022 and 2023, especially during the devastating effects of the coronavirus pandemic [104] [105] [109] [111] [112] [113]. Of course, some inspiration came from his perspective being written in a novel by Stefan Petrucha [80]. He is not thinking of killing the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is he [109]? Let us bring on the star attraction as his days of leaking scripts behind the creative teams’ backs are over [19]!

“C’mon, Laura! Don’t accuse me of leaking sh** [19]! I’ve just finished touching myself in a hot pink version of my suit [64]! I’m happy to have you write an article about me again though. I’m pretty sad about my father Rob retiring from my comic book cred, but I wish him all the coolest [100]. I may not be able to donate blood or organs, but at least I can donate affection. The brunette bombshell who is about to analyse the trailer for my upcoming movie knows from experience [104] [105] [111]. Besides, I’m not planning to kill the MCU…yet [109]! That pretentious but hot b**ch may have been breaking the fourth wall longer than I have, but hopefully, I have taught her some things [91]. Oh, right! My little Laurapop doesn’t want any bias against She-Hulk, especially on her blog! My bad!” [58]

“I knew Laura Amy Williams, the lady who would often receive a shoulder massage from this manly mutate would analyse the official teaser trailer for his third movie [101] [103]! And no, she did not watch the short version of it at the Super Bowl [94]. She analysed five chapters of the Spider-Man/Deadpool series and so on [109]. She’s not afraid to be critical though [107] [108]. Go ahead and do your thing, Miss I’m-So-Glad-The-Teaser-For-Deadpool-&-Wolverine-Is-Here-And-I-Can-Write-An-Article-About-It! I can guarantee that it’ll keep you on your toes, as dry as humour can be in your country [22]. No offence, honey.” [58]

We knew that Ryan Reynolds would not get replaced for the role of the merc [83]! The teaser begins with our antiheroic hero celebrating his birthday with many of his co-stars [58]. Strangely enough, he is wearing a wig. Later on, he gets captured and recruited because of some infatuation with his special abilities, leading to some potential, especially in terms of character development after the events of Deadpool 2 [26]. We then get a juicy dose of fighting as he strives and struts in the updated design of his suit after he claims to be “Marvel Jesus” as he vows to leave some highly effective impact in the Marvel Cinematic Universe like the fourth wall wrecking menace he is [58]. I also like how the moment of him hiding behind a fallen tree and yelling “Wait!” is a call-back to the highway scene in the first film [25]. As a bad guy who often tries to be good at times in the comics [105], he has to be a bit of a red velvet muffin at some point in the forthcoming film, right? This ought to especially apply to maintaining the wholesomeness of his relationship with Ness [58], but we shall explain how that can be expanded in the events of the film later.

“Don’t judge me for wearing a wig on my birthday, Laura [58]! I know it is not as iconic as the Wade Ross afro [1], but it could be even stranger if it was wearing shark slippers or blue crocs! Oh wait [25] [62].” [58]

“I was Laura’s big red teddy bear, despite the lockdowns and restrictions back in 2020 [104] [105]. No reference to Pandapool intended [37]. Come on now! It’s not like how Cheryl slept with Mike for years [3] [93]! Well, that could have been the case if Laura had never met her fiancé. Some of my cult following may prefer my old suit from Deadpool and Deadpool 2 over this swell one for the MCU and that’s fine [25] [26]. I don’t blame them. It must be part of how I can seduce a large fraction of the adults [63] [64], yet I think I can be just as sexy in my MCU suit [106] [112]. Have you noticed how tight my ass looks in it, Laura [58]? You little pervert! And reader, please respect your fellow fans’ opinions because I don’t think I want to be on That’s My Fandom… [92]” [58]

As previously stated, the film’s title being changed to “Deadpool & Wolverine” must not only help it excel better at the box office but also ensure that the writing’s focus on Deadpool’s feud with Wolverine will not make it misleading [40] [57] [58]. After Deadpool is recruited, he is seen approaching who appears to be Logan at the lounge [58]. The moment near the end of the teaser when his iconic claws protrude from his fists, according to his shadow is the cherry on top of the first hype cake. Reflecting on a previously mentioned birthday party scene, Wade’s reflection on how grateful he is to be surrounded by people who respect and care for him could be an important aspect of a new wave of his personal progression, quite similar to the theme of valuing friendship throughout the three seasons of Sonic Prime and his rivalry with Logan might gradually evolve into an expansion on that as they have been frenemies since 1994 [56] [73]. The hype for Hugh Jackman as Logan, also known as “Wolverine”, appearing in Deadpool’s next big step has been beaming since the confirmation in Autumn 2022 [4] [5] [6] [58] [113]. Wade, you might as well just wind Logan up and make several more jabs at the X-Men film series throughout some new character developments [25] [26], right, bub [2]?

“You bet, Lauralicious! I wish I thought of replacing Wolvie’s claws with a trio of dildos [48]. It was so good to fondle his balls again [25]. Tumblr is still a thing, right? I once hacked his Tumblr account [55]! Next thing, I’ll start an OnlyFans with Ness, my beloved pansexuality-friendly vixen doing a few collaborations with me [25] [26]. At least it’ll be more inspired than me reacting to trailers, right? Oh wait [16] [44] [85].” [58]

Vanessa dying in Deadpool 2 was a sign of some faithfulness to the comics [24] [26] [99], as heartbreaking as it was, but a method to alter time brought her back. In the teaser, she tells the manly mutate to make a wish before blowing out the candle on his birthday cake as a sign of them maintaining their relationship [58]. And speaking of relationships, Negasonic Teenage Warhead and her adorable girlfriend Yukio who has a notably different hairstyle are seen during the birthday celebration. There still ought to be some emotional centre in Deadpool & Wolverine as there was that time when he prevented a girl named “Danielle” from attempting suicide in one of the comics from 2016 [46] [99]. Could Wade and Vanessa plan to have a child at some point in the film, just like how they did in Deadpool 2 [26]? I still suspect that Vanessa will soon become a lot more like her comic book counterpart as a big event in Deadpool & Wolverine [58] [105]. Madame Web may not be the essence of female-focused action we hoped for [41] [79], but there can still be some girl power in Deadpool & Wolverine [58], considering how there was more than Vanessa being a damsel-in-distress in the masked rascal’s first box-office success [25] [68].

“Gotta give Madame Web some slack for helping Dakota Johnson come out of that shell coated in fifty shades of grey though [95]. Vanessa and I ought to teach Mr. and Mrs. Grey the RIGHT way to establish a BDSM relationship this International Women’s Day [25] [26] [95]. Who knows when Ness will finally look like the Copycat we adore from the comics [105]?” [58]

There may be no sound effects from Ed, Edd n Eddy to make the action more whacky than it would be with Wade’s wisecracks [90], but he still provides some quirk in the combat [58]. And guess what? Pegging is not new to Moxxie from Helluva Boss either [61]! Aside from the moment of wit, the technical dynamics are in check are we get to see his weaponry flaunted in style [58]. Thank God Wade did not say that he is God, unlike the frightfully but rightfully outdated Sonic.exe [33]. As cute as the new friendships between the Sanrio crew and the Care Bears are [11], there will be some familiar comic book toughness throughout the main highlight of Deadpool & Wolverine [58]. There is no yin without the yang after all. An unlucky TVA agent meets an unnerving fate after getting handcuffed and even more shenanigans in the teaser include the manly mutate hurling what could be ninja stars to slay more agents and a moment of him shattering the back window of a car [58]. What impact will the TVA leave on him and Logan? I can already see that it is a lot more humanising and validating than the prison known as the “Ice Box” in Deadpool 2 [26] [11] [115]. Aside from that, some of us wonder what Pyro’s motive for being involved in a fighting scene is [58].

“Don’t forget about these car seats that look like some sleazy mafia boss had an orgy with a few menstruating hookers in this car! Hey! Don’t blame me if you didn’t read the disclaimer Laura made, reader!” [58]

What about the other minor roles in Deadpool & Wolverine [57]? Well, considering that the teaser after the shortened premiere version at this year’s Super Bowl [32] [58] [94], there is some speculation that Dazzler will be played by Taylor Swift [32] [112]. Additionally, Lady Deadpool could be played by Blake Lively, Reynolds’ wife [35] [83]. And of course, let us not forget about the role of Dogpool being played by a dog named “Peggy” [57] [106]. I am quite curious about Deadpool’s recruiters, especially Paradox as we are yet to see more of their motives for capturing and recruiting him aside from seeing his potential [57] [58]. Because of Deadpool turning back time in Deadpool 2 [26], there is hope for some further progression for Peter after the Just For Laughs event in London [84]. There has also been some speculation of the Fantastic Four making cameos as well before the premiere of the teaser [13]. It looks like Sabertooth will make an antagonistic appearance during another fighting scene [15]. There are quite a lot of Easter eggs to spot in the teaser, such as archived footages of Captain America and the Hulk as a sign of Deadpool & Wolverine being another MCU movie [58]. What could be next? Emma Stone, who played the role of Gwen Stacy in The Amazing Spider-Man and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 playing the role of Gwenpool [49] [87] [88]?

“Don’t forget about the Lokster, Laura [14]! Even though I love discussing ideas for what I can do next when it comes to being a star with my fans [5] [104] [105], some ideas are…better off not being taken into action [38]. Again, let’s not pretend that the MCU is either the best or worst thing ever. Besides, the whole multiverse thing must be pretty exhausting by now and I don’t blame the fandom [30], yet Blake Lively as Lady Deadpool sounds like a wet dream come true [35]! I would be proud of an alternate version of me who does not overcook oven-baked tacos [102]. I wanna be where the taco stands are after all [23]. I am also proud of the other Peter dropping his first on-screen F-bomb [36]!” [58]

Deathstroke may have been mistaken for Deadpool in Teen Titans GO! to the Movies [67], but there shall be no bias against Slade from the DC universe as I yearn to see Wade progress into an MCU star this July [57] [58]. What else could there be in terms of him becoming an MCU star? Well, there might as well be a jab at how he is often mistaken for Spider-Man, along with how bad he is how shaving [55]. Logically, I can potentially forgive the way his notable straight side was portrayed with no interest in sexual interaction with men in the game that starred him as its script and so on would have been in development way before his pansexuality was confirmed in 2013 [104]. Deadpool & Wolverine seems like the next big step in keeping him iconic that might as well be released in an IMAX format after its standard theatrical release [28], especially upgrading him to an MCU star, quite like how the events of Princess Peach: Showtime! will upgrade Princess Peach into a heroine once again but in a variety of costumes [74] [75]. However, if he insults something by calling it “autistic” at some point in the film, I will fiercely slap the Cruella De Vil out of him to the point where it decapitates him in a cartoony fashion [104].

“Okay, it’s pretty obvious that I don’t want to lose my head over the risk of political incorrectness. But come on, Laura! I wouldn’t be that dickish [104]! Heck, the creator of Pokémon is on the autism spectrum [31]! I’m all up for autism positivity because I know that plenty of fans of me could be on the spectrum! Don’t slap the b**ch out of me, sweetheart! You’re supposed to be AGAINST domestic violence!” [58]

“And displaying the gay part of me once again [26], eh Laura? Very well, you sweet little f**kcake. Besides, there is something about that Batman squirt gun I like [89]. Speaking of guns, I remember having to kill this one guy with an adorable rabbit who is about as polite as Laura is [43]. Speaking of bunnies, I may not be allied with Warner Bros., but the Barbie movie was sort of woke and it made over a billion dollars [8] [100] [110], so I guess I can allow a little wokeness. Besides, Black Black Widow is a beautiful interpretation of Domino in Deadpool 2 and nobody threw a b**ch fit over Nick Fury being black in the post-credits scene in the first Iron Man movie and the rest of the MCU timeline [26] [39]! And speaking of Barbie, I doubt that I’ll say a chance against a bunch of Harley Quinn cosplayers as Playboy bunnies, along with Bats bringing out his feminine side [66] [86]. Oh! And don’t forget to wish Allan a Happy 60th Anniversary [7] [8]!” [58]

There is so much potential in the chapter that will officially bring the merc with a mouth to the Marvel Cinematic Universe [57] [58]. As part of the fifth phase, Deadpool & Wolverine is sure to begin an enlightening new chapter of the mouth merc’s career. Some Marvel fans may believe that the MCU should have ended after the success of Avengers Endgame [29], but I guess there are still some more stories to tell, especially Deadpool’s entry that is sure to spice things up. Perhaps there could be a sidequel to the first Deadpool movie centred on Vanessa’s separation from Wade if there would be even more to tell [82]. In the meantime, be sure to check out a new wave of Funko Pop! figures before going old school in quite a new way with X-Men ‘97 next month [59] [77] [78]. I am up for going trick or treating with Mr. Pool this Halloween, just as long as he will not give any young children a knife or a bomb to hold. But for now, new Valentine’s Day-themed Helluva Boss merchandise is charming my fellow hazbeans as the hype for Deadpool & Wolverine is on [58] [60]. A big thanks goes to the manly mutate for featuring his perspective during this analysis.

“You’re welcome, my little Laurapop. As your red velvet muffin, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for analysing the official teaser [58]. Be a good girl and try to dodge spoilers as if they were bullets this Summer [57]. I’m not a huge fan of violence…unless I’m the one who causes it [45]. But as for you, your mom raised a good egg. Marvel Jesus has a special place for her in the clouds of eternal awesomeness. I would love to be the vicar for your wedding [104], but Canada (or Kenada [98]) may still need me. Nonetheless, Logan and I can visit Oscarsland with Weird Barbie next year [42]! In the meantime, I might as well paint one of the Disneyland castles red and black (but only in LEGO or Minecraft [69] [76] [94] [116]) to mark the marketing of Deadpool & Wolverine [114]!” [77]

“What did you think of my sweet little Laura’s analysis, reader? Deadpool & Wolverine might not help bring Disney back on top after people were like, “This thing from Disney is woke!” and “That thing from Disney is woke!” [117], but it can certainly bring its titular character (me) back into the spotlight [57] [58]! I swore not to embarrass my girl by wearing a tacky jersey or a flashy sweater last Christmas, even after it rained cocaine and I squeezed Hulk’s nipples [17] [70], but I can already sense the release of Deadpool & Wolverine being worth it as I keep being my devious self [58]! Speaking of embarrassment, don’t make me shoot you in the private area if I meet you in real life instead of some weird VR experiment and you have the balls to p**s me off [71] [97]! Man, if only Omegle was still around for sh**s and giggles [12] [17] [20], but yeah. We need to keep minors safe online, especially from 18+ sh** they’re not supposed to encounter ‘til they’re old and responsible enough. Until then, see you in the next trailer! Thank you for being part of a Hugh-ge response [6] [27]! And bring on the sexy bosses if you’re one of my little Laurapop’s fellow gamers [10]!” [57]

References

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